What's Eating Sean?

Michael Jackson

2009-06-25T16:54:00.001-07:00

Hey guys, I'm going to take a break from the normal schtick to talk about the big news today.

Today, June 25th, 2009, Michael Jackson died. It's a sad day. I was actually editing a dance recital today at work, and one of the songs was "Thriller". I come home to my sister running out of the back yard telling me Michael Jackson had a heart attack. Not gonna lie, it was pretty upsetting. I'm a Michael Jackson fan, I'll freely admit it. He wrote some amazing songs, and sold more on ONE record in the US than anyone else. He's written songs that EVERYONE knows. If you don't know a Michael Jackson song, I don't believe you. Thriller changed the history and set the bar on music videos. He single handedly changed the music business.

And yet, some people still have to be dicks. Some people have to make fun of him. Sure, he was a pedophile. And I'm not gonna look past that. What he did there was wrong, and I don't approve of it at all. But I'm going to remember Michael as an artist, not a pedophile. Some people have to make jokes and try to make light of the situation. There is no light to make of it. A legend died, along with two other legends (Ed McMahon, and Farah). He revolutionized music, and yet you have the audacity to make jokes about his wrongs? Did people make jokes about John Lennon's drug abuse when he died? How about Kurt Cobain? No, it's simple politeness not to. You think you're being funny, but in reality, you're just being rude. You're disrespecting a man that changed music, so you're insulting a man that changed what you listen to. And to those who think that he was no big deal, you're wrong. This passing is just sad. So to the people out there making jokes, just stop. You're looking like a giant moron.

Well, there are my thoughts. Rest In Peace, Michael, you aren't forgotten.

-Sean.

Blog #7

2009-06-12T08:28:00.000-07:00

Oh hey, I'm back! Yeah, I was out for a while, but I'm back now, and that's what matters! Let's get back on topic now...

YOU KNOW WHAT I HATE?

Anyone who can't properly use headphones. I mean, are they really that hard to use? You just plug them in, set them at the correct volume, and listen to music. But, no, some douchebags just HAVE to go the extra mile and turn up their headphones ALL the way and wear them around their neck. Usually I don't care, because I'll have mine in. However, if I don't, it's a nightmare. Some people use a playlist, and listen to different songs. Keyword: SOME. Some buttmunches just HAVE to keep playing the latest Soulja Boy, Lil Wayne, 3OH!3, or some other crappy mainstream artist's song. I don't care how much you have to "Turn Your Swag On", I don't want to hear it. And if you tell them to turn it off, you know what they'll do? They'll pause the song, say "What?", you repeat the question, and they say "Whatevah" and continue doing it. I just want to bring a steel pipe on the bus and do some batting practice with their heads. Every single MP3 Player or iPod comes with a pair of headphones, and if they don't, they are cheap! Just for the love of god, plug them in!!!

And that's it for Today, kids! Thanks for reading!

I'm Sean, and it's great to be back.

BLOG # 6

2009-03-04T15:06:00.000-08:00

Last week wasn't enough. Time for part 2 on the scene wars!

DOUCHEBAG

You know what...I don't have to type much on here. This picture sums it up. Ok, but I gotta add something. Let's give a little bit of background on Mister Douche, here. He bought all of his clothing with his rich parents' money. He wastes it on college parties, and everything labeled on the picture above. Too easy. NEXT ONE!

TOOL

Yeah, it's hard to find a proper teenage-douche. But add 10 years, 100 beers, and many regrets later, and this is what he'll look like. Things to point out: Muscles, dumb hair, tattoos, no smile, some goofy expression on his face, hot chick who is holding him because she thought he looked hilarious, and the bandana-wrist-band. He looks like he's staring at a pile of bacon. "Oh yes, Bacon. Come to me...oh god, my tongue's out."

HIPSTER

...I hate these ones. I REALLY do. They think they are so damn original for liking music they thought nobody liked. And the majority of them are geeks/nerds/theater kids who wanted a new label. This is the "Go-To-Scene" for most chicks. But I cannot stand it. Notes of fashion: Dresses, awkward children's clothing. Music? CUTE IS WHAT WE AIM FOR, LIKE DUH! I'm stopping myself now.

PREPS

I feel so creepy doing these. Mostly because the most hated scene, The Preps, only last until 6th grade. Then everyone gives up. Let's see, they wear Hollister, Abercrombie and Fitch, American Eagle, and Aeropostale. Music? Anything on MTV. These girls range from ANY age. But most abundant in the pre-teen department. Anyway, these are the girls who will give the first BJ out of your class. Ugh, I'm done.

"PUNK"

Note the quotations. These are the dudes who think Green Day and blink-182 are the epitome of Punk. They go to the discount bin in Hot Topic for their clothing. They rip off the sleeves of their black shirts, CUZ IT'S SO PUNK RAWK! When in reality, they used to like rap 3 years ago. They used to dress like a Douchebag. But, it's ok, because this is their new found, (not glory), religion. But this guy isn't a real punk, definitley not even close.

That's enough for now. If you want more scene greatness, head on over to Your Scene Sucks. I'm not getting into this too much, for my own good. That's it for today.

I'm Sean, and I'm sure glad that I'm not clumped into any of these scenes.

Blog # 5

2009-02-22T07:22:00.000-08:00

YOU KNOW WHAT I HATE?

This whole dark-dressed-teenage stereotype clique thing. I would say "scenes", but it turns out, some morons decided to call themselves "scene". So, I'm going to try to make sense of it all. God help me.

EMO

Ah, Emo. A music genre that turned into a label for teenagers. These are the kids who say they are emotionally depressed, when in reality, they are not. I'm sure you are thinking to yourselves, "BUT SEAN! WHY ON EARTH WOULD SOMEONE DO THAT?" And at first I didn't know. But then I thought about it for a little. And it hit me, THE PERKS! You get to wear really cool sweat bands to cover up the slits on the wrist you don't have. You get to shop at Hot Topic and rape their selection of over priced clothing. Don't forget the crappy hair styles, all of which are colored black, that cover up your eyes! And most of all, you get friends that are just like you and are not depressed. It's a pretty sweet deal. But then again, there are some emotionally depressed kids that truly are emo. I have no problems with them. OK, NEXT ONE!

GOTH

Ok, so I know that picture was posed, but still, it's hilarious. So these are the kids who dressed dark before the whole "emo" thing came along. They listen to bands like ICP and The Misfits. Their favorite movie? Anything that Tim Burton directed, perferably The Nightmare Before Christmas. Their style is easily confused with those of "emo" and "scene", but do NOT tell them that to their face. They'll attempt to punch you, and that will just lead to so much hilarity, you might pee yourself a little. The girls always wear pig tails and dye their hair black with a highlight of any other random color. The guys just wear a band t-shirt and put make up on to seem tough. Yeah, that really screams tough. "HEY! I JUST BOUGHT A T-SHIRT FROM HOT TOPIC GIVING MONEY TO OUR GOVERNMENT, AND STOLE THIS MAKE-UP FROM MY MOM'S DRESSER!" And they call other kids gay. Sad, isn't it? MOVING ON

SCENE

Oh, how I hate this. These kids used to shop at places like Hollister and Abercrombie & Fitch, but then they found out, more people wear black. So that's what they did. The grabbed their extensions, hairspray, and dad's credit card and went to the mall. Now could someone explain to me the MASSIVE tumor on this poor girl's head. Wait...THAT'S HER HAIR?! Good god! Actually, someone explain to me how that giant lump is attractive at any degree. I know some guys find scene girls attractive when they tone down the hair, but this is ridiculous. Ok, so let's go to the hair. There are 3 types of scene hair. 1, the hair style when they wear tiny little headbands, because they didnt' want to dye their hair full out. 2, The hair style when they dye their hair many MANY colors, but they don't put their hair so high up that bird's could stand on it. And 3, THE MOUNTAIN! It truly is sad that people can find that last one do-able. So that's their hair. Their style comes from watching the goth and emo kids at their school. They only wear 2 different shirts. Hello Kitty, (AKA The Devil), or a crappy band. I cannot explain Hello Kitty for the life of me. But they get the bands from MySpace. Do I blame MySpace? No. I blame those crappy CRAPPY bands. I've also noticed that there are very few scene guys. Mostly because a guy with a brain wouldn't do this.

Ok, I've said my peace. I didn't do the "hardcore" scene because, I don't even fully understand it. It's just a buncha people doing this. By the way, all pictures were found via Photobucket or Google Image Search. If the people in these pictures do find this blog and complain at me, take them off photobucket, and I won't do it. Until next time,

Publish Post

I'm Sean and I am afraid to look at that mountain of hair.

Blog # 4

2009-01-16T16:00:00.000-08:00

YOU KNOW WHAT I HATE?

I hate it when something close to me dies. And unfortunately, that may happen very soon. After I read this.

Yes. On February 14th, 2009, Saint Valentine's Day: it is rumored that The Jonas Brothers will be the musical guests on SNL.

For those of you who have been living under a rock for the past year and don't know who The Jonas Brothers are, let me inform you. You mix Hanson with the popularity of The Beatles and add in about 300 more screaming pre-teens, and you get these three guys. Now I can't necessarily knock them for being bad musicians. They aren't the worst, and they are far from the best. They write all their own songs, which is commendable, and some of which aren't bad. But the thing is they're just another boy band that had their fifteen minutes of fame put into overtime.

SNL is known for having some raunchy humor. Don't believe me, check out this clip from a recent episode. (On a side note: HUGE shout out to The Lonely Island, the dudes who made that awesome video. Been following you guys for a while now, great to see that you finally made some TV time. PS: HOT ROD WAS AWESOME!). SNL has brought us some comedy legends. John Belushi, Chevy Chase, Eddie Murphy, Chris Farley, David Spade, and Will Ferrell just to name a few. I've watched it for about five years now, and have followed up on older episodes. To say the least, this show is not intended for children.

Unlike The Jonas Brothers. Their fanbase is consisted of ONE majority: Pre-Teen Girls. SNL's fanbase is filled with people trying to get a good laugh after a hard week. And boy has it delivered. They've given us Animal House. What more needs to be said? The GREATEST College Movie of ALL time, (and if you disagree, you're wrong). The Jonas Brothers made Camp Rock. Not enough? SNL got the ENTIRE New York Fire Department on their first show after September 11th, 2001. The Jonas Brothers are on the Disney Channel. 'Nuff Said.

Now I'm not going to be a typical internet flamer saying "OMG JONAS BROTHERS ARE GAAAAAAAAAAAY!". Trust me, every time I say that, my sister (Their number one fan. Seriously, you can't get more obsessed than her.) tells me about ALL of their girlfriends. I've learned more from her about The Jonas Brothers than I've learned about any subject this year in school. Bottom line: SNL hasn't been too great as of the past few years. If they get these three on the show, it dies. Right there. Last week Neil Patrick Harris hosted. I usually love his work, I thought it was one of their worst as of late. Taylor Swift (Joe Jonas's ex) was on the show. You don't see me bashing her, because she actually has a future. Her performing can be held up to people three times her age.

That's enough ranting for today. Until next time...

I'm Sean, and I'm begging you Lorne Michaels: DON'T BOOK THEM!

Blog #3 (and video)

2009-01-07T13:51:00.001-08:00

YOU KNOW WHAT I HATE?

People claiming they are original. Whether it be styling your hair in a way that nobody in your school has done, saying stuff nobody you know has done, or just trying to change your actions and mannerisms in general. Truth be told, you AREN'T original. You aren't the first person to die your hair black with pink streaks. You aren't the first person who has said "Sweet Balls!". You aren't the first person to "Pimp Walk" with money in front of a retirement home, (even though that would be hilarious). It's nearly impossible to be original with all these people on this planet. Here is a video to help you out

Thanks to Rhett and Link for creating this video.

Anyway, if you want to do something TRULY original, it's quite simple. BE YOURSELF. You do not have a clone, so you being you, is technically original. I'm so sick of people complaining about somebody "stealing" something they thought they created. So maybe if you wear stuff YOU like and your friends may not, you'll be original. Making your hair look like you walked through a paint factory during an earthquake isn't original. Smoking cigarettes because your friends do isn't original. Listening to crappy music isn't original. Starting a band with your friends that plays songs that you wrote IS original. Making something by yourself IS original. Writing a book IS original.

That's it for now. Until next time,
I'm Sean and start pulling your ear.

Blog #2

2008-12-30T23:17:00.000-08:00

THE BIGGEST DOUCHEBAGS IN 2008

With 2008 slowly ticking away, I'm going to take a stab at this. I don't know if I'll be able to come back alive.

NUMBER 5

Brett Favre

You're a hometown hero. The best quarterback in Green Bay history. You're at the prime age to retire. You said you were gonna do it, but wait, here come second thoughts. You're offered TWENTY MILLION dollars to stay home and retire. You say no. You're offered THIRTY million, still no. Then you sign to the Jets. Douche.

NUMBER 4

Soulja Boy Tell 'Em

Anyone who finds his music good, is deaf. His lyrics? They are instructions on how to do dances HE made. His first album? souljaboytellem.com. Seriously. His second? iSouljaBoyTellEm. He sounds like he's making new display names on MySpace. He has been quoted as to saying "Shout out to the slave masters. Without them we wouldn't be here to get this ice and tattoos.", and sadly I'm not making this stuff up. Ice-T is right, Soulja Boy is killing hip hop

NUMBER 3

Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer

A.K.A. The two morons who made Disaster Movie. The two guys claim to make "spoofs" of the movie, but truly isn't it all just a reference? They make fun of Juno in a movie that is supposed to be making fun of Disaster Movies? These two need to die, ASAP.

NUMBER 2

Miley Cyrus

If you're on Disney, of all places, try to stay clean. Try your best not to take pictures naked only being covered by a bed sheet, take pictures of yourself exposing your under garments, or get these photos leaked onto the internet. Sorry Miley, looks like you just struck out.

and finally

NUMBER 1

Politicians

Yes, politicians in general. Whether it be Sarah Palin, George W. Bush, Bill Clinton, Hilary Clinton, Bill O'Reiley, Elliot Spitzer, John McCain, Barack Obama, Rod Blagawhatever, or even Joe The Plumber. They all did somethign douche-y. Whether it be acting like a total redneck, flip flopping the issues, having a hooker over, screwing over fellow candidates, or just sending America on a one way ticket to the worst year ever, you guys did it!

That's it for the year, ladies and gentlemen. So until 2009...

I'm Sean, and I'm sure glad I'm not these tools.

Quick Video & Update.

2008-12-21T17:45:00.000-08:00

Hey guys,

Well just thought I'd give you all a quick update with this blog here. I plan on posting a blog entry once a week. And on the weekends, I'll post stuff that amuses me. Next blog should be around Wednesday, which is Christmas Eve, and trust me, the blog will fit the theme.

Anyways, here's the video!

I always thought that board games discriminated against black people.

Well until next time. I'm Sean, and I know how to win Guess Who in one guess.

Blog #1

2008-12-19T15:53:00.000-08:00

YOU KNOW WHAT I HATE?

When girls on MySpace do one of those generic MySpace poses. You know the ones, and so do I. So I decided to break it down for you guys.

POSE #1: The Bathroom Mirror.
Oh, the classic "mirror pic". And you know it's going to be taken in the bathroom because nobody walks into somebody in there. You could be using the toilet! But 9 times out of 10, they'll be taking pictures. I always found it weird because, you can find out what is in someone's bathroom by looking through their pictures. So here's the rundown of what they are wearing. Sweat pants with the waist folded down to reveal their mid section. Then they put on a low cut tank top. They're hair is either wet, or a total mess to try to make it look "scene". And then they throw up the peace sign. As if they're saying "I really think war is stupid", or "Dude, I'm totally baked.". Then the comments are up to like 43 because their one friend in Biology is commenting it, and pressed "Post Comment" one too many times, thus making the phrase "wow yer so gorgeous. i wish i was that hot. lol." being posted SO MANY TIMES. Which I always thought was funny because they're confessing they're lesbian love to a girl, yet they would totally deny admitting a girl is sexually attractive to them.

POSE #2: The Bird View
Could someone please let me in on how this became popular? It is absolutely stupid. What they do is take one arm and reach it up to the sky, with the camera in their hand. Then, of course, another low cut shirt showing what the look like down their shirt. Oh and you know they do it on purpose. It's like "I wanna be a whore and show off my cleavage, even though I have a boyfriend". I really hate that. Because you're thinking "Whore." and when you call her that in person, she's offended. I <3 cleavage, but I don't <3 these generic pictures.

POSE #3: Look How Funny I am!
These pictures are very rarely funny. It's usually her and one of her friends doing something at a mall. Either riding one of those old rides where you put in a quarter and gently go up and down on a car. Or it's them in the Disney Store messing around with the stuff there. They'll be sitting on Mickey's lap and having their mouths open and their hand in front of it saying "Look how dirty I am!" Sure, it was funny when you did it in person, but nobody gets the joke on MySpace.

POSE #4: Mommy Doesn't Look At My Pictures, AKA: Jailbait.
Oh, every teenage boy's dream. A hot chick, no pants, underwear, long sleeve shirt. Oh, yes, it's hot. I mean, the girl usually is. But you know for a fact if you were to ask for more pictures, she'd be like "wtffffff i'm not a whorrrrrrrrre." But another thing you can assume from this pic is that she's not a virgin. Another is that her Mom doesn't know, and doesn't check her MySpace account. The guys will comment it saying "Hot!", and what they mean is "I saw you wearing this in a wet dream of mine, but you were naked."

Don't worry, fellas. There's generic MySpace photos for you, Too!

POSE #5: I Lost My Shirt!
The MySpace pose for guys. When they take off there shirt and show off their six pack. The girls will be like "OMG SO HAWT!" and the guys won't comment, unless A) they were there and there is a funny picture taken, or B) They are trying to get tips on how to get that nice of a body. Girls love it, but all guys know one thing, it screams DOUCHEBAG.

Well that's it for now, ladies and gentlemen. Until next time.

I'm Sean, and that's what's eating me.